Sunday, October 22, 2006
Eid Mubarak
After a truly grueling Ramadan, I am pleased to say that Eid is upon us. Eid Mubarak to everyone and hope you all had a great, great Ramadan.Over and Out.
Waldo! at 9:35 PM
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Blog Facelift
As you may have noticed, my blog has a...spicy...new look. Would love to get some comments about how you are finding it.Over and Out.
Waldo! at 5:59 PM
I'm A Big Kid Now
This post is brought to you by SC Johnson, a family company.So a few days ago I saw this tv AD for some new sort of diaper that has some wet zone thing to let the child now that he is wet and should go to the bathroom and continue his business. I thought to myself, wow, that's actually pretty smart. But hey, if the kids's already pee-ed himself, what's the point of going to the bathroom? so basically, the point of the diaper is to let you child know he or she has made #1 or #2. My concern is, would the kid not know already? I mean, he is walking around in a plastic bag of pee...or worse. How dumb does this kid have to be? Such stupidity. Honestly, I think these Huggies and Pampers and such are real wastes of money and resources. In my day we were wrapped in a big banana leaf and left to do our own business. No stupid wet zone and such, an in my opinion, I turned out pretty good. Kids now have it too easy. The proverbial gold spoon has been replaced by one with diamonds and other precious stones set in white platinum. Gold is passé now...it's meh.
So yeah, if you want your kids to come out normal and with good toilet manners, don't use diapers. Let them wallow in their mess for sometime and I guarantee you, within a few days they will be potty trained. Hell, I was potty trained as soon as i was born. Getting up to the toilet was a chore sometimes, but with a little determination it was always good...in the process I developed excellent upper body strength. Even at 5 months I could lift a toy and throw it across the room like nobody's business. Stupid kids nowadays, can't even throw a dangerous object right. No wonder they have so many problems at such young ages. The way things are going now, we're going to have young mothers having children at the age of 5 and 6. Of course, you must be thinking, "wow, ur an idiot. everyone knows girls can't have kids at that age. who's gonna pay for their hospital bills? " DUH!! they're gonna have to take a loan out to raise their children. By then SC Johnson will not only be a family company but will also be a company that sells children to families. All the 5 and 6 year old mothers would then sell their children to them in exchange for cash and perhaps toys and then those children would be sold at a mark-up of 200% to other less fortunate families who couldn't have children. Of course, the children would come with a great return policy and a good extensive 3 year warranty, with part replacement...!!! i know, amazing!! and with the purchase of a full baby you get a free diaper bag and diapers and other baby products. ISN'T THAT GREAT!!?? now that's one stop shopping!
neways, i'm off to bed. hopefully tomorrow my new mail-order baby will get here. the last one was too fussy, it used to cry all the time and would only shut up when i fed it. how dumb is that? why else do babys have baby fat...to feed off of when they are hungry. idiots.
Over and Out.
Waldo! at 1:10 AM
Monday, September 11, 2006
Waldo's Back
Yes he's back, back again, Waldo's back, tell a friend....Inspired by my friend Shazzy's return to the blogging world, I hereby announce mine. For the moment, this is all I have to say. But very soon I'm gonna have a hot new look with a hot new format and I shall begin.
Over and Out.
Waldo! at 12:49 AM
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Mah Ma
As I edge closer and closer to the day I pick up my bags and leave home for university, I become more and more wary of the fact that I'm going to be away from my mom; My mom who's my best friend. She is the one person who I can talk to about anything. Speak my mind totally and express myself freely. My worries, my failures, my successes, my desires, my apprehensions and my every thought is so easy for me to share with her. Imagining a life without her is so wrong I'm afraid to talk about it. But I'm not one who is easily intimidated, so here I am. Hence the topic for this post is, obviously, my mom.
Life’s a bitch, that’s what I always say. Just when you get the most amount of freedom and have the opportunity to emancipate yourself from your parents, you want them to support you the most. Argh.
Waldo! at 3:50 AM
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Romeow and Juliwoof- Part 1
Due to the crappy nature of this Chapter 1, all future posts in the series "Romeow and Juliwoof" have been shelved. Thank You. - Administrator.Part 1
Chapter 1
Our tale(tail would be more fitting) begins in a small zoo in a distant city. In this distant city, in this small zoo, lived a family of cats and dogs. The cats lived a quiet life of love. They passed their hours with each other and enjoyed the moments they spent together. Led by their protective patriarch, Leonardo Felinetti, they led a life of quiet devotion and remained within their tight-knight family. To aid the aging Leonardo, 2 of his 3 sons were always on his side. The youngest, Romeow, the romantic of the family, was never there to support his family, but would rather spend his days dreaming up 'get-quick' schemes. On the other end of the zoo we meet the dogs, led so diligently by Howlangelo Woofini. Being a strict father, he was disapproaving of almost all that his family did, especially his children. Having responsibility over 3 girls would put almost any father under stress, let alone one with such beautiful girls. The prettiest of his girls was the eldest, Juliwoof. Her long, flowing locks accentuated her soft demeanor. Her delicate style fitted her body perfectly.
In the zoo, there was a constant struggle for territory. Lions and tigers, elephants and giraffes all vied to get the most space. But the greatest flight was that between the dogs and the cats. The dogs would force their strength on the cats and try to steal their land, and the cats would use their intelligence and steal their food reserves. This war had been going on for generations and it didn't seem to be settling down anytime soon. One day when the war was at it's fiercest, the two heads of family decided to meet near the orang-utan cages to reach a truce. On this day, the children from both families decided to meet and the aviaries and speak about their families and find a way to end this apparently never-ending feud. At both meetings, something went wrong. The two fathers ended up quarrelling and aggravated the situation. At the other side, Romeows' brothers and Juliwoofs' sisters were at ends over who is the superior animal. Both sides were furious at the other's blatant disregard for the other group. Romeow was, though, preoccupied with Juliwoof's beauty. In his mind, the only thing racing in circles was the thought of talking to her and perhaps asking her to meet him in private sometime later. So when neither of their siblings were looking, Romeow slipped Juliwoof a leaf with the words "Meet me here in 2 minutes" written on it. As each groups left, Romeow glanced over at Juliwoof and saw a glisten in her eyes. He was sure she would come to see him. He told his brothers that he wished to stay back and watch the birds and maybe catch one for them, to which they happily agreed. So he stayed and watched his brothers walk away. Within minutes, Juliwoof returned to the spot and told Romeow that she had to go back quickly as her sisters were waiting for her just behind the large bush that blocked the aviary. Romeow whispered into her ears "I think you are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on..." to which she replied "and you are the most handsome cat I have ever met." With those words, they looked into each other's eyes and saw their reflections. In both their eyes, they saw themselves smiling and looking content for the first time in their lives. They promised to meet again and again and to make this part of the aviary their regular meeting place. As they left, Romeow called out to her. She spun around and asked what the matter was, to which her replied "Parting is such sweet sorrow, for it takes away this moment, but brings the promise of another." She smiled, flicked her head and ran back to her sisters who were waiting impatiently. Neither of them knew what was lurking behind the thick shrub, what was waiting impatiently to spill the news to both sides. Neither of them knew that the crow was watching. Neither of them knew how he would change their lives forever.
End of Part 1
Over and Out.
Waldo! at 12:47 PM
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Orgasmic...
Warning, the following post is significantly raunchier than any other I have written. Parental discretion is advised.“It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside…”
It starts with a familiar pain in your toes, making them curl at the very thought of that one person. Gradually it moves higher and higher; inching towards your groin. On the way it ignites a fire in every muscle, nerve, vein and artery of your legs. It tickles your knees in the most sensual way and caresses your calves with the soft, smooth swish of satin. You feel bursts of electricity explode up and down your legs, electrifying every inch as they travel. You jerk your head side to side and bite your lip in ecstasy…you know what’s happening next. Suddenly, you feel the sting; you pop your head back and moan. You twist and turn and twirl yourself from the unbearable intensity. You arch your back and begin breathing faster. Beads of sweat begin to form on your forehead and you inhale the scent of your lover. It is intoxicating. It is stimulating. In a matter of seconds, it has passed, now moving towards your torso and head. You yearn for it to go back to where it was, almost trying to mentally push it back down. But you can’t. So you give in to its overwhelming power. You allow it to take control of you and your senses. You allow it to drive your mind wild. It reaches your chest and brushes against your nipple, sending a shock-wave up and down your body, announcing it’s proximity to your head. That one brush makes you shiver inside and your ears begin to ring. Gently it fingers your neck, tugging ever so slightly on its taught skin, stroking your throat with the most erotic of touches. Naughtily, it stays there, causing you to squirm with want and need, begging for it to complete its journey. Eventually it gives in, and begins to gently pinch your ear, playing with the lobe and tugging on it. You feel it run through your hair, playing with each strand as it moves to the next. You cannot bear it any more, you want your climax. Instinctively it knows that you are ready for the final play and return to your steamy groins where it first began its lewd journey. You prepare for the finale, relaxing your muscles and clearing your head. It looks at you with longing and gazes into your eyes. Within a matter of seconds, it is over. But those seconds felt like eons. They busted in you like a supernova that shook you to your very core. They rattled every bit of you and made you scream out with the sweet pain you felt; a sweet pain in the most righteous of senses. Slowly you relax yourself. Your muscles begin to loosen and your breathing returns to a normal speed. You lie there and feel the glorious heat of what you have just experienced while bringing yourself back to reality. Almost immediately, your tired eyes begin to shut and you drift off to peaceful sleep.
Over and Out.
Waldo! at 4:22 PM
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Jesus Walks and Other Activites
Don't fret, I'm not going controversial on your ass, I'm just telling you about a song that I listened to recently that changed the way I viewed hip-hop and rap. Jesus Walks by Kanye West.
I know, this song is old, but I never actually listened to it before. I have heard it though. But it was upon listening to it that I realised just how good it is and why it was the cause of so much talk when it was released. He says "They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus, That means guns, sex, lies, video tapes, But if I talk about God my record won't get played Huh?" Isn't that so sad? I was thinking about it, it's so true. We can speak about sex like we're talking about the art of drinking water but you mention religion or God and you get the feeling of death come over you. Everyone shuts up when the conversation changes from BDSM to the need for a God. That's when it gets inappropriate. It's scary. Well, I guess I did get controversial. Oh well.
I'm going to change the subject right here and address the other half of the title. What have I done over the past few weeks? Well, I've spent a lot of money, and done a lot of sheesha. That's bad, haven't really done anything productive, which I feel guilty about. Hence I came online today with the sole intention of updating my blog and getting me creative (or otherwise) juices flowing. There's something I'd like to say about that phrase, "creative juices flowing." Isn't it ironic that most people drinking coffee when they do something creative such as writing, but it’s still juices that flow. I'd like to change that to "creative java flowing;" doesn't that sound so much more appropriate? So now that my creative java is flowing I'm feeling the urge to replenish them and go to Starbucks and fill to the brim with Triple Shot Caramel Macchiato. Maybe later. Either way, I'm not about to leave Kanye West now, after all, how many people can claim Jesus Walks and get a Grammy. That's something to pay a little attention to.
Waldo! at 4:32 PM